Seeking Solace

Tell me true
We loved once
We felt a swirl of self -ish and -less
In a time when rebels cleared the skies for
Painfully underpowered dreams to fly
Though those times are gone now
And here we are on terra firma
Better(?) for it.

In those days
When love and abuse
Were self-generated
And self-directed at the
best and worst of times
We were together through it all.

I need to know if your heart
laments our disasters and indiscretions.
Do you repent of what you did to me
when we caused each other’s crime
and indulged in too much with too little thought
with a warm blanket to blind ourselves
and a kiss to dull the ache?

Maybe if you show me your regrets
It will remind me that you
Truly love(d) me
The unselfish kind, so unlike mine
And I will believe again that
It is possible to love me

Help me gather hope like so many spools of thread
woven into a cloak
Tell me the truth
So I can understand how to deal
With the bittersweet regret
I feel for what I did to you.

Let this be your last selfless act
Your admission will help my own
I will say that I was not perfection
And I will be at peace with truth and conscience
One more time.